It is an interesting feeling coming back to Rockhurst High School after Christmas break. I am excited to be back with the students in the classroom, but I feel the overarching shadow of the year coming to a close. With the ending of this school year brings anxiousness and uncertainty of where my future may be, whether I continue teaching at Rockhurst or find a job elsewhere. This cloud of unknown has been something that can blind me from truly being present in the world that surrounds me in the moment.
I have started to look back on my first semester, analyzing my triumphs and follies in and outside the classroom. This brings me some calm knowing the anxiousness I feel now about my future is similar to that of what I felt during ASC summer orientation: thinking of how I conquered the fear of this year back then I begin to recognize how this cloud, veil, shroud of uncertainty may be thinned. My freedom from this paralyzing fear that has inflicted me for some time came from placing my trust in God. This task has always been difficult for me, but I have a feeling if I not only do all that I can to assure my future, God will guide me where I need to be.
I can only hope that through this upcoming semester God’s will for me can be discerned and that I will be able to continue my passion of teaching and coaching.